What a boring day today

Today...Yesterday..the day after tomorrow..
It just seems to be so so boring
How come?

How can I perceive this?
Something wrong with me I guess..
Do not know what happened to me actually..

But I do realized, that there must be something wrong inside of me
Do I too much insist on God?
Too ungratefull?
Or...should I find another better life, probably in here..
Better job?

How could I leave a job, meanwhile I really need a job
How could I rely on someone or my parents?

It shouldn't be..
It mustn't be..

Oh come on..
There must be an easy way out..
It just make me dizzy these latest days..

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